This may be my last post for a while, maybe the last one in your lifetime, actually, if this job I'm chasing comes through.
On the other hand, maybe you've already read my Great American Novel that I wrote before you were born or my classic memoir based on my professional experiences as a time-traveler.
We'll have to see. It's an exciting opportunity though, so wish me luck.
LANGUAGE I'm constantly threatening to take a French class. And one of these days I will.
But my problem is that what I really need is a language lab – or possibly some kind of laser brain surgery, as long as it's under local anesthetic – to help me reduce my accent. I don't need a conversation class; I don't need a grammar work-out; my written French is weak but good enough for email; but I have plateau'ed on my pronunciation.
In fact, I may be getting worse. Why? Because my children are reaching the mumbling age; I can't really understand my nine-year-old son at all anymore.
Everything he says sounds like this: "Et sploing, tout à coup, c'est baff a doublé comme ça. Pschht, ça gzzzt et il, tu sais, pang. Oh là, beuh, fais gaffe oupla. Je te baff. Chlac. Et puis moi, j'ai dit grumph. Finalement, voilà, sploush, et comme ça, quoi. Tu vois."
And, despite my constant Mom exhortations of "I can't understand you. Would you please ar-tic-u-late!", apparently I'm starting to imitate him.
MONEYIf you're an American lucky enough to retire overseas, it's easy to collect your Social Security check from abroad.
Medicare benefits, on the other hand, are off the table for you.
But if you're an American who has spent a good chunk of your professional life abroad, calculating your Social Security check is tricky and timing is everything.
Here are the basics on retirement benefits abroad, but known that this is only a superficial explantion. If your anywhere close to retirement, hopefull you'll read the following and then say to yourself, "I better find out some more about this..."
Of all the issues on the table during the 2008 Presidential campaign, the one the 6.6 million Americans abroad cared most about was restoring the American image.
It was starting to feel Rodney Dangerfield-esque out here: "We don't get no respect."
This, according to Democrats Abroad insiders, was the best explanation for Barack Obama's overwhelming popularity amongst overseas voters.
Now Americans have surprised everybody, including maybe themselves, by demonstrating that the United States is a more complex entity than the Bush-era jokes, stereotypes and Michael Moore had led the world to believe.
Great! Now what?
There are a lot of biggies on the Change to-do list. But while we wait for President-Elect Barack Obama to be inaugurated, I'd like to remind him of some of the "bread-and-butter" issues for the overseas Americans who voted for him en masse.
If you think the overseas vote can't possibly make a difference, think again.
There are some four to six million potential American voters overseas, according to the Overseas Vote Foundation (OVF) . True, they are spread out across the country so the numbers in any one constituency are small. But that doesn't mean we don't have the power to turn an election.
MONEY My job here is simply to remind you that the IRS is still out there and wants to hear from you soon.
Expat tax-filing can be tricky and the following is NOT tax advice. If your finances are remotely complicated (multiple residences, capital gains, rental income, substantial income of any kind), your best advice is: Get an accountant.
But even if your situation is straightforward and you want to file on your own, here are 10 Need-to-Knows about Taxes.
MONEY There are lots of reasons for expat Americans to keep a stateside bank account, starting with the taxes we're supposed to file every year.
For example, we too were eligible for Economic Stimulus checks in 2008, checks paid out in dollars. What if you want to leave that money stateside for your next vacation? Wouldn't that be more stimulating to the American economy than exchanging it into (many fewer) euros?
College funds, inheritances, retirement accounts, all these, plus more generally, an exchange rate stuck at 'terrible' with occasional spikes of 'horrifying', are good reasons to keep money in the States.
And that's why it's a big deal for certain overseas Americans who have either been denied accounts from American banks or received closure notices on existing accounts.
Every November, I celebrate an important anniversary of my Life in France: the date I earned my French driver's license.
I celebrate by pulling it out of my purse and taking a few moments to enjoy the bone-melting relief that – no matter what other trials and tribulations I will endure for the entire rest of my life – I'll never have to take that damn test again. It really takes the edge off.
Most Americans must jump this hurdle if they want to drive here legally, specifically if they stay for longer than a year and/or think they may ever need to make a claim on their car insurance policy.
If you haven't faced these facts yet, let me fill you in on what to expect: frustration, humiliation, exasperation.
But stick with me and I'll also explain why obtaining a French driving license is Good For You.
Everyone with a carte Vitale must choose a primary doctor, médecin traitant, or be reimbursed at a lower rate, or possibly not at all in the case of visits to a specialist without a referral. It's easy...but there is a form. Here's what you need to know to book your basic doctor's appointment.
